My path has been one of fire. I was drawn to anything that would show me my own delusional perspectives; which were many. I would put myself in extremely difficult situations with people so that I would feel the pain of my identifications and beliefs. I didn't choose a path. I was the path. Fire isn't a path that fuels concepts. It's a path that burns them. ~Gloriji
About Gloriji
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My spiritual journey began during a time I've come to know as a dark night of the soul.
I had been a bartender for more than 25 years and owned a blues biker bar. In 1999, my brother, Mike, died of an overdose in Albuquerque, NM. The people with him stripped his body of all his clothes and identification and dumped his naked body in an alley. He was a John Doe for exactly one month from the date of his passing, when they traced his finger prints and discovered his true identify. Upon hearing the news my mother died of a heart attack the following day. We buried them the same day. I closed the bar and went home and fell apart... |
It felt like I was dropping through a dark space-- feet first-- rapidly dropping. And I couldn't grab anything. I couldn't find anything to hold onto. It felt like I was being stripped of everything that made me me. It was all gone.
I was no where near a spiritual path (consciously). I didn't know anything about kundalini energy and neither did my doctor. I had severe panic attacks, anxiety, depression and waves of intense heat that made me feel like I could spontaneously combust. I was put on heavy doses of anti depressants and didn't leave my home for several months.
I ultimately cried out for help one day while alone in the house. That's when the room filled with a brilliant light and my heart calmed to a deep peaceful knowing that all is well. I knew in that moment that this Light is what I am. The love I felt was like being held by the Universe. The mind would come back within a couple of days and ask; " what the hell knew that's what I am?" As a person that only read an average of one book a year… I found myself craving understanding. A longing was there that had never been there before. The journey truly began to flower from there.
I was no where near a spiritual path (consciously). I didn't know anything about kundalini energy and neither did my doctor. I had severe panic attacks, anxiety, depression and waves of intense heat that made me feel like I could spontaneously combust. I was put on heavy doses of anti depressants and didn't leave my home for several months.
I ultimately cried out for help one day while alone in the house. That's when the room filled with a brilliant light and my heart calmed to a deep peaceful knowing that all is well. I knew in that moment that this Light is what I am. The love I felt was like being held by the Universe. The mind would come back within a couple of days and ask; " what the hell knew that's what I am?" As a person that only read an average of one book a year… I found myself craving understanding. A longing was there that had never been there before. The journey truly began to flower from there.